This sweet, fruity red wine reminds us of Joe EXOTIC because:

• It’s anything but the expected - just like a song at Maldonado’s funeral.

• It’s fun to drink while you make a web series with your friends, especially if it involves threatening a rival exotic animal park owner.

• It definitely deserves its own music video.

• It would be sequined and unbuttoned if it were a shirt.

• It would definitely say “Carole Fucking Baskin” on tv.

This sweet, SPARKLING WHITE wine reminds us of CAROLE BASKIN because:

• It’s a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets - just like those photos of Carole and Howard.

• If bubbles were a shirt pattern, they’d definitely be cheetah print.

• Pairs well with sardine oil…..or killing a husband and feeding him to the tigers.

This smooth dry red wine reminds us of bhagavan “doc” antle because:

• The mustache on the label rivals Doc’s soul patch.

• After a few glasses of this wine, you’ll feel good enough to join a cult.

• This underrated wine deserves to be the star of its own show - just like Doc Antle.

This bold dry red blend reminds us of jeff lowe because:

• It’s made from 100+ year old vines, so it’s old a.f., just like Jeff.

• It’s a full-bodied red, so it can fill out an Affliction shirt.

• You probably wouldn’t take it home to your mom.

• It’s spicy, kinda like a hot nanny.

This ROBUST dry red blend reminds us of rick kirkham because:

• Every sip brings something different to your palette.

• The toasty, oaky profile reminds you of a burnt out recording studio.

• I mean….it’s called The Arsonist for a reason.

This bold white blend reminds us of james garretson because:

• It combines so many of our favorite flavors to create the perfect medley of smooth and sleek.

• The bright notes of lemon are really palette-catching.

• It’s about as subtle as a jet ski.

add on for just $24

This incredible sangiovese reminds us of james garretson because:

• It can be served chilled or at room temperature. You might say it goes both ways!

• It pairs well with a glow up.

• It might be having an affair with the girl at the front desk.